Saturday, May 4, 2024
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Mark, here it is another year past. You're another year older. Unfortunately you're not here so I can celebrate it with you. I leave comments every year, and they get deleted. Someone doesn't like the truth. Doesn't matter, I'll keep posting. As I have said so many times, I wish life was different for you. I wish it was different for all of us kids. The sexual molestation you endured for years was horrendous. I know all of us kids had to go through it but that doesn't make it any better for you. That's the oldest, I looked up to you so much. Yes I remember the 20-year-old you getting the 10-year-old me high for the first time up on split rock in the woods behind our house. I had No idea what to expect. Not sure it was a great day as I became paranoid as hell lmao, but at least I was with you. I'm sorry for the way our Father treated you. Actually I think he was your father but I'm learning now He may not have been mine. Not 100% positive, but I'm pretty sure. Unfortunately, everyone in the family who could potentially be DNA tested has passed away so I can't verify. It's always very sad and your birthday or mine because I remember the times we celebrated. I would take you to metal concerts when your legs started to go bad. As kids you took me fishing at Black Rock Park and taught me how to catch trout. Unfortunately we don't have a lot of memories. The 10-year age difference between us combined with the very dysfunctional, abusive and horrific home we grew up in made it pretty hard to form any good memories. I don't believe in heaven or hell. I don't believe in life after death. I don't believe anything happens to our soul so therefore I won't say I hope to see you in heaven one day. Because I don't believe in heaven. However, just because I don't believe, doesn't make me right. Nobody knows what happens when we die and if there is a heaven and if you are there and I ultimately join you then yes I can't wait to give you a big hug. I love you now and I loved you as my big brother and I will love you until the day I die. I know you are resting in peace. Probably the first time you found peace is when you passed away. As sad as that is, at least you finally found it. Love, your little sis, Lisa
